Because these words are my diary screaming outloud.

They say that love is forever. Your forever is all that i need.

2011-10-01T15:02:00.000-07:00

I have this ex.
He drives me crazy because

He still sends me mix signals

He calls me everyday
He flirts relentlessly

Buuuuut

He has slept with alloottt of people
I dont know if he actually still like me
He's all over alot of girl

Does he just want to be friends?
Does he want to be more?

I am sooo gonna do a few more blogs like this(*:

What a picture perfect postcard this would be of America.

2011-08-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to an air show. Looked at alot of really cool planes from WW2 and had a few fly over and did some really cool manuevers. A b2 stealth bomber also flew over. I quite obcessed with them because they are just flat out amazing.

School is going well so far. Only a week into it though. So not ready to get out into the real world. Im not sure what i want to do yet...I want to graduate (of course), join the Air Force, and hike parts or all of the Appalachian Trail. That's on my To Do list but i dont know in which order i want to do them in. I really do not like school so i dont want to go to college but its probably a good idea that i do. I dont have any extra tallents that would help me in any field. I like European history and religion of all kind but what job is that going to get me? I dont really want to teach, but i wouldnt mind going to college if i get to study history and religion.

And so castles made of sand melts into the sea, eventually -Jimi Hendrix

If I ever feel better, remind me to spend some good time with you.

2011-08-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

Girls are so catty and I don't like them. My exs ex talking behind my back. Luckily I have amazing friends that will stand up for me when I'm not there. But this girl don't know me. She doesn't even know my last name but she knows how to call me skaank....which isn't my name... :p I called my ex and told him to tell her to keep my name outta her mouth since he is hanging out with her recently. He said he would but that's prolly a lie. "I shall not tell lies." it was probably the most awkward conversation I've had with him. We ised to talk at least 2 hours a day and I could tell him anything but now I can't talk to him for a few minutes... Just shows me how easily things can go down hill. But I have no hard feelings toward him. I'm not that kind of person. [:

Life is hard and so is love, child, belive in all these things. -Faith Hill

And I don't want to spend my time waiting for just another guy

2011-08-17T23:37:00.000-07:00

Well, there's another relationship, come and gone. 2 weeks. Can you believe it? Only two weeks for someone to decide that I wasn't good enough for them. Oh well, their loss. Not mine.

My ex sent me a message the other day and said that I'm great and there are
people out there who will appreciate me for me and there's nothing wrong with being myself. Which is the same guy that cheated on me. I don't know if I'd ever get back with him. My family and friends wouldn't be too proud of me because that guy has caused me
so much heartache and he just wasn't good for me. But you'll still always have
feelings for your first lovee. I doubt I really loved him. Once I get older and find a love I know I'm going to look back on these moments and realize that it was all a silly waste if my time. But at the moment, it's what I want to do.

Aaand this other guy who is in my class and only talks to me cause he wants some booty. But he also wants someone to just hang out with. Isn't that what most guys say? But I want my first time to be with someone I'm in a relationship with and that I feel strongly for. Not just some friend with a few benefits. I mean, I would date him in time, and see where it goes but i don't want to mess around when it has absolutely no meaning to it. Maybe I should stop leading him on if I'm not really going to give it to him. That's just mean....but fun...(;

Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep

2011-08-10T02:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm over the boy now. Haven't been on in soo long.!! Well long story short, he cheated on me and moved 2,000 miles away. We still talk. What's the harm in a little sext buddy?(:

I'm dating this new guy named Seth and it's going well(: he has yet to meet my parents but he will soon(: and I've promised that I'm not going to have sex with him for a while. It seems like being physical before being emotional always ruins things. I love talking to him.!

And I feel like I'm a princess in a castle high, waiting for a kiss to bring me back to life. -a girl a boy a grave yard. Jeremy Massersmitj

Music's On My Mind -5/1-

2011-05-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

I love this song so much.
Enjoy
(:

Music's On My Mind -4/30-

2011-04-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

I'm always singing something so im going to try and post a different song every day. One that i'v been singing all day or that im really into at the moment

Lately ive been in a late 90's early 2000's mood.. I know this isnt that long ago....2005...but im really diggin' this

Will you remember me? 'Cause I know i wont forget you. -Simple Plan "I'd do anything"

You're addicted to the drug of lust. A detox in the cold sweat of shame.

2011-04-29T14:42:00.000-07:00

So, we've been broken up for a few weeks now but i still miss him like crazy. Is this what it feels like to have a broken heart? If it is then i never want to fall in love. Ever. I almost told him those 3 words...almost...
     I still see him every day, which is good and bad. Depends which way you look at it. It's bad because he picks fights with me all the time now. The littlest things. Pointless things. Remember in elementary school, when the boy fights with you it meant he likes you? I just keep wishing we're in grade school still...Maybe that's it? Maybe he's still not over me either? I still feel so much for him. I couldn't ever hate him. Hate's too strong of a word.
     But then i think of all the good times we have had together. The random silly string fight in the mall parking lot. Evacuating our friends car because someone set off of stink bomb in it. Cuddling up in the car because everyone else wanted to play freeze out. Holding hands under his jacket we were using as a blanket. His, mine, our first kiss to E.T. by Katy Perry.Yeah. Immature fun, but it still makes all the best memories.
   The first guy over to my house. My first kiss. I've liked him for 4 years... 4 years and it all comes down to this. I cant decide if those years were a waste of my time or just time building up to the best times in my life. I guess life deals you some crazy cards sometimes.
   I just want to touch him, to prove that he's still there because in a few months, he wont be here. He's moving...hundreds of miles away....hours and hours away...So back to where i said i cant decide if all these years were a waste of my time....It's all been built up then the climax of us being together and the downfall of us breaking up. Was it all worth it?   I guess it'll only make me stronger, right?

Just to be with you has given me the best day of my life - Dido "Thank You"